


One Last Useless Vow

by romanticalgirl



Series: Nowhere [1]
Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Angry Sex, F/M, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:40:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 5/12/01</p>
    </blockquote>





	One Last Useless Vow

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 5/12/01

“Holy shit.”

“What?”

Joey pointed, her hand still wrapped around her glass. “I know that guy.”

“You know a lot of guys here, Jo.”

She shook her head and finished off what was in her glass. “No,” she whispered loudly, drunkenly. “I mean I *know* him.”

Her friend laughed. “Yeah. You *know* a lot of these guys here, Jo.”

“No.” She slurred the word and grabbed a random beer off the table, downing what was left in the bottle. “He’s the love of my life.”

“Right,” her friend, Sarah, took another sip from her own glass. “I say that about whoever I’m taking home too, Joey.”

“You…” Joey tried to point in Sarah’s direction, but couldn’t seem to manage it. “Don’t get it. That,” again she pointed, this time in the general direction of the bar. “Is goddamned Pacey J. Witter.”

“So?”

Joey plowed through another beer. “I gotta talk to him.” She leaned toward her friend. “I sooooo screwed him over. Of course, he dumped my ungrateful ass in return. Shiiiit.”

She staggered to her feet and wove her way through the press of bodies to the bar. She shoved her way up against it and stood on the baseboard railing to lean over it. She waved her hand wildly as Pacey headed in her direction. “Hey!” She shoved her hair off her face and gave him a lopsided smile. “Hey, Pacey!”

He pushed her back, barely sparing her a glance. “Get off the bar.”

Joey stumbled backwards, her expression shocked. She managed to stay on her feet, following him down the length of the bar. When she got to the end, she shoved another girl out of the way and reached out, grabbing his wrist. “Pacey.”

He raised his head slowly, his blue eyes dark and unreadable. “Let me go.”

“Pacey, it’s me. Joey. Joey Potter.”

“I know who you are,” he informed her coolly, disengaging her grip. “I just don’t really give a fuck. Now, did you want a drink or something?”

“I…sure.” She shook her head, obviously unsure. “Give me a screwdriver.”

“Sorry. You’re drunk.” He smiled thinly. “Now go away before you head straight into disorderly and I have your ass kicked out.” He turned and walked away, heading for a group of girls waiting to order.

Joey stared after him, her drunken features laced with shock. She stumbled back to the table and sank onto her chair once more. “What happened to the love of your life?” Sarah asked.

“He blew me off.”

“Sounds like a dick.”

“Yeah.” Joey bit her lower lip and continued to stare at him as he ignored her, going about his business without sparing her a second glance. “He is.”

 

~**~  
“Go away, Joey.”

She pushed away from the side of the brick building and looked at him. “How did you know I was here?”

“I pushed you away and, in typical Joey Potter fashion, you didn’t get the message. I’m seriously beginning to doubt the veracity of standardized testing, not to mention the public school system. You’re rumored to be so smart, yet you show no evidence of it.”

“You’ve kept your edge when it comes to humiliating me, I see.”

“At least I’m not doing it in front of a group of people.” He tossed the trash bag he carried into the dumpster and then turned around, shaking his head as she moved closer. “Joey, mice learn faster than you. I’m not interested.”

She stopped and shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. “We can’t even talk? We’re old high school buddies, ex-lovers.”

“And which of those just reeks of waxing nostalgic? Old high school buddies are best reserved for ten-year reunions after you’ve failed at all your aspirations. And ex-lovers are people you avoid at common parties.” He slammed the dumpster lid closed, smirking as she jumped. “You moved on, Joey. So did I. We just ended up in the same place.”

“You had to know I’d be here.”

“Honestly? I didn’t figure I’d find you shoving your tits at me in a crowded bar, smelling like you’d taken a bath in Absolut.” He rubbed his eyes. “Leave me alone, Joey.”

“I just want to talk.”

“No, you want to talk about old times. You want to reminisce about our glory days in Capeside. I have no desire to remember them. I don’t give a shit about Dawson or what he’s doing. I could care less what your academic standing is. And I would rather cut off my head than hear the word soulmates again.”

“Talking about us would be so bad? Remembering a few moments of what we shared?”

“No thanks. Living through it was bad enough the first time.” He opened the back door of the bar and unleashed the noise and smoke into the night. “I’ve got no desire to rehash your neuroses or my shortcomings. But thanks for the offer.”

She stared after him wordlessly, her brow furrowed. Walking slowly around the building, she made her way back inside, settling at the table beside Sarah. “Well? Was he as good as you remembered?”

“What?”

“The guy. Mr. ‘love of your life’.” Sarah gestured toward Pacey who was standing behind the bar, flirting with a sexy redhead. “The guy practically crawling in Lydia’s panties right now.”

“He blew me off.”

“I know you’re drunk, Jo, but that’s supposed to be your job.”

She shook her head, ignoring Sarah’s laughter. “He acted like I was less than nothing to him. Like what we had was just some big joke, some high school fling.”

“I hate to tell you this and force you to join us once more in the real world, but high school sweethearts are very rarely the stuff of lasting relationships. Hell, I don’t even remember the first guy I ever thought I was in love with.” She grinned and sipped her beer. “Although I do remember playing spin the bottle and rubbing his cock in the coat closet.”

“Pacey and I weren’t like that.”

“Doesn’t matter what you were like, Jo.” Sarah turned to her friend, her joking demeanor gone. “He blew you off. Move on. Not every guy is going to succumb to the talented mouth of Josephine Potter.”

“What’s Lydia’s gang doing tonight?”

“Joey…”

“Find out.” She looked pleadingly at her friend. “Find out, get us invited.” Standing up, Joey grabbed her empty beer bottle and glanced toward the bar. “I’ll be there.”

“Have a little bit of dignity here…”

“Please, Sarah?”

Sarah got up from the table, shouldering her purse. “You owe me big time for this one.”

“I do. I know.”

~**~  
“I can’t believe we’re doing this. You know how much I hate Lydia, right? You know that she’s a stuck up bitch, right?”

“Yes.”

“You know that no guy is worth following him to a beach party you don’t want to be at.”

“Yes, Sarah.”

“You can’t leave well enough alone, can you? He’s been blowing you off for the last week, Jo. He’s ignored you. He fingerfucked Lydia just outside the ladies bathroom with you standing no more than five feet away, he…”

“I know.”

“So why the fuck are we chasing after him like some sort of psychotic weirdos?”

“Because he’s…”

“Shut the fuck up.” Sarah shook her head. “I don’t want to hear any more of your psychological damage. You’ve followed this guy around all week, Jo. You’ve been in that bar watching him like some sort of stalker every night. You do remember that midterms are next week, right? You remember that you’re here on scholarships that are contingent on you actually getting grades from real professors and not Mr. Monkeylove, right?”

“I’ll stop after tonight, all right? I just…I have to get him to talk to me.”

“Why does this guy hate you so fucking much, Joey?”

“You think he hates me?”

“Joey, no one who likes you treats you like this. No one who actually cares about a feeling or two you might have had tramples over you like he does. I mean, I honestly think this guy has a serious hatred for you.”

“No. He loved me. A year ago, we were like…he was my everything.”

“I thought that was the blond idiot who came during break.”

Joey shook her head and stared out at the passing scenery. Sculpted sand dunes that served to remind her of home, of Capeside. Sea air that brought back vivid memories of falling in love. “Pacey’s…”

“Pacey’s a dog, Jo.” Sarah parked the car amidst the group of sports cars and status symbols that announced Worthington students were in the area. “He’s been with a different girl every night. And not one of them has been you. And not one of them is going to be you. Do you know why?”

Joey was staring out the windshield to where Pacey was hauling an armload of firewood toward the cluster of college kids. He dumped the load and laughed at something she couldn’t hear, tugging his shirt over his head. His skin was bronzed from the sun, his shoulder marked with the dark blue of ink. “He’s got a tattoo.”

“Yeah, that’s why. No. It’s because he has no desire to fuck you, Joey. He doesn’t want entanglements. He wants to get laid and get high and get drunk. He’s a college student, Joey.”

“No, he’s not.”

“Well, he does a damn good impression of one. And he’s exactly the kind of guy that none of these girls has ever had, and trust me, that makes them a hell of a lot more interesting than the girl he fucked in high school.”

“You don’t know him.”

“No. I don’t. And I never will because he doesn’t see beyond the body and the sex. And if he offered them, then we’d be in business, but I have more of a chance to lay this guy than you do, Jo. So please, please, please, for the love of all that is sacred and holy, can we turn around and go back to the dorm and drink ourselves into an oblivion that has nothing to do with the guy you used to lay?”

Joey opened the car door. “Are you coming?”

“Why am I being dragged into your drama?”

“Because you’re my friend and my voice of reason.”

“That you’re not listening to in the slightest.”

“You don’t know Pacey, Sarah. He’s got this shell that he hides behind, but he’s really this sweet, nice guy. It’s all bravado. And if I can get past that, if he’ll let me get close again, I can fix what happened between us and I can make him see that splitting up wasn’t what either of us wanted.”

Sarah watched as Joey headed toward the now crackling bonfire, stopping by one of the pickup trucks to grab a beer from the cooler. “You’re completely delusional,” Sarah said softly, watching Pacey’s face as he noticed Joey. His eyes closed and he sighed, frustration and fury in every inch of him. “You know that right?”

~**~  
Pacey passed the joint to the girl next to him, holding the smoke deep in his lungs all the while. His eyes passed over Joey nonchalantly, barely sparing her the glance as he exhaled. Behind him, some random blonde was raking her nails down his bare back. He shifted slightly on the rough wood as she bent her head and started sucking on his shoulder.

His head tilted, allowing her exploring tongue better access to his bronzed skin. He shifted and straddled the log as she let her tongue trail along his tattoo. Joey watched him recklessly, her eyes trained on his muscular body as the blonde moved closer.

Joey’s tongue darted out, painting her lips, as the blonde’s tongue traced the dark lines of the tattoo that decorated Pacey’s shoulder blade. The flickering light of the campfire made it difficult to discern the pattern, made it shift between the veil of blonde hairs that sought to obscure it.

The heat from the fire was nothing compared to the heat building inside her as Joey passed the joint along, not taking a hit. The blonde was no longer licking him, no longer concentrating on the dark blue lines that painted his skin, preferring instead to suck on his neck.

Joey remembered the taste of him. Remembered everything about him. She watched as Pacey took the joint once more and inhaled, sucking the burning smoke into his lungs. He held it then turned his head and lifted the blonde away from his back, kissing her, pushing the smoke into her with his tongue.

Biting her lip, Joey struggled to hold in a moan, a mixture of unbridled lust and frustration. Her hands were curled into tight fists in her lap, the knuckles white. She wanted to leap over the fire and wrestle him out of the blonde’s arms. She wanted to pin him to the ground and suck smoke from his tongue. She wanted to lay on his back and lick his skin until his cock was too hard to take it anymore and he subdued her underneath him and fucked her senseless.

The blonde’s hand rested on his thigh for a moment before sliding higher as he continued to kiss her, stopping only when it rested on the thick bulge in his low-slung shorts. Too many sleepless nights had passed, remembering the feel of him there, the hard press of his erection digging into her skin. Now the blonde’s fingers were moving over him, tracing the outline of this flesh. In Joey’s mind, she could picture the blonde hair over his thighs as her tongue echoed its earlier movements, sliding around the hard cock until she brought it into her mouth to suck on it.

Joey shifted in her seat and forced her eyes up from his lap. He was looking off in her direction, probably not even aware of her, his dark eyes narrowed with desire. His tongue snaked out and he licked his lips, reaching behind him for the beer bottle he’d abandoned in favor of the joint.

He took the last slug from the bottle then grabbed the stroking hand of the blonde. He leaned in toward her and whispered something in her ear, moving her hand as he stood up and made his way over to one of the pickups in their ring of cars.

After a few moments, waiting while he got himself another beer, Joey walked up to where Pacey was leaning against the tailgate and stood in front of him, slightly off to the side. The guy he was talking with noticed her and rolled his eyes. “Your puppy dog is back.”

Pacey sighed and turned toward her as the other guy walked away. “What do you want, Jo?”

“Are…are you…” She licked her lips, her eyes running over his broad chest. “Are you going home with that girl?”

He sighed, tired of her. “I don’t know, Jo. Why?”

“I just…”

He shook his head. “No. Never mind. Yeah, I’m going home with her.” He leaned forward slightly. “That’s what single people do. They meet up at parties and then they go home and have random sex.”

“So you’re going to sleep with her?”

“They have sex that’s hot and sweaty, Jo. They have sex that’s messy and wet and sloppy. The kind where the sheets stick to you. The kind where you knock shit over in an effort to get each other’s clothes off. The kind where you don’t give a shit if she’s having a good time or not, so long as your cock’s buried deep enough inside her. The kind of sex where you wake up in the morning and get the fuck out of the bed and don’t look back.”

She watched him speak, the quick flash of silver in his tongue mesmerizing her. “I…”

“The kind of sex we never had.”

She stood there stunned as he walked off, not even sparing her a backwards glance. Tears flooded her eyes and she closed them, determined not to let the drops fall. When she opened them again, he was back by the fire, the shifting light dancing over his tattoo. The blonde was back at his side for a moment until he pulled her into his lap and wrapped her hair around his hand, sinking his tongue into her mouth.

Joey whimpered without knowing it, forcing herself to resist the urge to run. She wanted to disappear, not have to watch him do these things - the things he used to do to her - to someone else. She took a step closer to the fire and kept walking, joining her friends across from him, the heated blaze separating them.

Pacey’s hand closed around the curve of the blonde’s breast, kneading it slightly. She muttered something unintelligible into his mouth and he nodded, easing her from his lap before getting to his feet.

Joey watched with undisguised hunger as he stood, his cock hard beneath his shorts, straining already against the khaki material. The blonde grabbed the blanket she’d been sitting on and wrapped her arm through Pacey’s, eagerly letting him guide her off toward the beach, out of the glow of the firelight.

She started to stand, stopping as Sarah grabbed her wrist. “Nu-uh, Jo.”

“What?”

“Don’t fucking debase yourself any further for this guy, okay? I mean fine, you think he was the big love of your life or whatever, that’s great. But Joey, he’s going to the beach to fuck some other girl. Don’t follow them.”

“I was just going to get a beer, Sarah.”

“Right. You were gonna get a beer like I’m going to get laid by the head of the Psych department.” She shook her head. “Don’t, Joey. Have a little dignity.”

Joey shook off her hand and headed back to the pickup truck where the coolers were all laid out, stocked with beer. Grabbing one, she opened it and took a long pull before turning away from the fire and staring out at the darkness of the ocean.

She couldn’t see them, couldn’t hear them over the crashing of the waves. Looking back in the direction of the group, she avoided Sarah’s eye and started walking slowly. She kept moving quietly; listening. The waves pounded the shore as the wind whipped up, swirling froth into the air, painting her lips and face with salty spray.

Her bare feet sunk into the sandy dunes as she climbed higher, looking down at the beach now from a different vantage point. The reeds softened the sound of the sea, whispering softly as she wove through them carefully, stopping when she finally heard his voice.

They were below her, just out of sight. She inched forward, careful not to send a spiral of sand down onto them. Peering over the edge, she closed her eyes for just a moment, hunger almost getting the best of her.

Pacey was lying on the blanket, naked, spread-eagled. The blonde was kneeling between his legs, about to bend her head and take his hard cock in her mouth. Joey could see him in the dim moonlight, but knew she didn’t need any light to know his body.

He made a soft noise as the blonde went down on him, sucking hard and slow as she slid along the length of his cock. Joey watched his face as he closed his eyes, his pierced tongue sliding out to lick his lips. She could see the silver shine again and felt another hot surge go through her. She wanted to know what the pressure of the knob felt like on her tongue. She wanted to know what it felt like smoothed against her clit.

Suddenly the blonde was moving, stripping off her bikini bottoms before she straddled him, pausing just long enough to slip a condom over the head of his cock, wet from her mouth. She moved over him and lowered herself, letting out a low, soft moan as he filled her.

Joey watched breathlessly as she moved over him, fucking him. Memories of the feel of him inside her tortured her as she stared, watching as his large hands moved over the blonde’s breasts, pushing the material of her bikini top out of the way. Her breasts tumbled into his hands as Joey wrapped her arms across her chest, hiding her own. They seemed too small for him as his hands held the blonde’s. Had he wanted more when he held hers?

The blonde was moving faster now, thrashing wildly above him, riding him. The muscles of her ass clenched with every thrust as Pacey arched up to meet her body with his. Joey simply stared as the blonde’s soft ‘ohs’ of pleasure melted into a low, keening cry of satisfaction. Pacey grabbed her hips, continuing to push up inside her, not looking at her as he searched for his own pleasure, finally falling back with a soft grunt of release.

The blonde rolled off of him, lying beside him for a few moments before she adjusted her bikini top back down to cover her breasts. Joey watched as silence settled between them, Pacey stripping off the condom and rolling away, reaching for his clothes.

“So, who is that girl?”

“Which girl?”

“The one who follows you around. The brunette.”

“Ex-girlfriend.”

“Still has the hots for you, huh?” She stood up and slipped on the bikini bottoms, reaching for the T-shirt she’d worn over the bathing suit. “Or has it slipped into the realm of obsession?”

Pacey shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. She’s a girl I used to fuck. There are quite a few of them running around.”

The blonde shrugged as well. “I don’t think she’s quite let go.”

“She’s under the mistaken impression that what we had together was true love.”

“An incurable romantic, huh?”

Pacey moved toward her and pulled her hard against his body, kissing her. His tongue slithered down her neck and he spoke against her skin. “A stupid, little girl.”

She tilted her head and closed her eyes. “You don’t like ‘em stupid?”

He chuckled warmly, sending shivers through her. “I just like ‘em hot and wet.”

She ground against him, unable to keep from smiling. “Well, you’re certainly good at getting them that way.”

“You up for more?”

“Are you?”

“I don’t have to be, darlin’.” He slipped his hand between her legs, his fingers finding their way under the material.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” she moaned, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, letting him support her as his fingers moved over her clit. “Faster,” she tilted her head, allowing him better access to her neck as his hot mouth moved over her.

Joey shivered as Pacey’s free hand grabbed the blonde’s ass and pulled her closer to him, his other arm moving steadily between her legs. Hurt and desire warred inside her, the pain of his words doing nothing to dull the ache of wanting him.

His hips were moving in unison with his hand, fucking her in spirit, if not in deed. The blonde shivered as well, gasping weakly as her body shook, falling away from Pacey as he carefully let her go.

He eased her down onto the blanket and smiled, wiping his hand on his shorts. “Can you get back okay by yourself?”

“You’re a real gentleman.”

“You didn’t ask me to be gentle.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Can you?”

“Just fine.” She watched him start to walk away and shook her head angrily. “Asshole.”

He waved back at her and kept walking. Joey watched him for a moment before moving back from the top of the dune and heading back toward the camp.

~**~  
Joey moved carefully down the beach, past the party so she could circle back to Sarah’s car. Unlocking it, she grabbed her jacket and tugged it on, giving her an excuse to have been away while he was. She walked back casually, wondering if everyone could see her nerve endings or if they just felt exposed.

“Whatcha doin’, Potter?” His voice was a slow, sexy drawl, full of knowing. Had he seen her?

“Just getting my jacket.” Sand clung to his ankles and lower calves, pale against his sun-dark skin. “You?”

“Getting a beer. You want one?”

“I think I’ve had my fill.”

“Really? Now that doesn’t sound like the Joey Potter I’ve heard all about from the guys around campus. I hear she’s quite the party girl. Drinking, drugs, all the sex you could possibly want.”

“Yeah? I thought you didn’t care.”

“I don’t.” He looked at her and she could read the truth in his eyes. He didn’t care. Didn’t give a shit that she’d lost herself after he’d left her, after she’d let him go. Didn’t care that her dream, the one he had constantly reminded her she worked so hard for, hung precariously in the balance.

“So why bring it up?” Hurt laced her voice as she stood there, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her shorts. After a year away from Capeside, a year of being alone, she was standing here before him as the girl he’d left behind. “If you don’t care?”

“Just asking if you wanted a beer.” He saluted her with his and started to walk away.

She spoke quickly. “Are you taking that blonde home with you?”

He stopped and looked back at her over his shoulder. “Not tonight.”

Tears filled her eyes a she looked at him, his smile impish. He looked like the Pacey she’d fallen in love with and it hurt so much to know that he wasn’t. That she’d changed him. “Will you take me home with you?”

“Why do you want to come home with me?” His grin changed, no longer welcoming. “You want to watch a movie? You want to talk about old times? You wanna talk about Dawson?”

She bowed her head as he asked the questions, hating him and herself equally. “No.”

“I can’t think of anything else we could do, Jo.”

“I want you to make love to you.”

“We’d have to be in love for that, Jo.”

“I want to have sex with you.”

“I don’t have sex with girls with soulmates. Sorry.”

He started walking again and she bit her lower lip, blinking to dispel the tears from her eyes. “I want you to fuck me.” He stopped and turned, slowly and dangerously. Tears ran down her cheeks, spilling from wounded eyes. “I need you to fuck me, Pacey.”

“You’re not my type.”

“I’m…” She sobbed softly and bent her head. “I’m begging you to.”

He stared at her, shaking his head. “You’re pretty fucking pathetic, you know that, Potter?”

She nodded, resigned. “Yeah.”

He walked up to her and lifted her chin, the soft smell of the blonde lingering on his fingers. “If I fuck you, will you leave me the hell alone?” He said the words softly, caressing her with them. She almost whimpered, the sultry tone bringing back a flood of memories.

“If that’s what you want.”

His chuckle was deep and throaty. “Just because you’ve been screwing half the campus, you think that sex is going to make me want you again, Jo? You’ve gained so much experience? Or you think that another taste of the golden pussy of Joey Potter and I’ll just fall madly in love with you?”

“You loved me once.”

“Yeah. I think my academic record proves I was a pretty fucking stupid kid back then.” He moved closer, his body against hers, hot and salty. “You want me to fuck you?” He whispered.

“P…please.”

“Right here?” He gave her a half-grin then shook his head. “Come on, Potter.”

“Where…”

His eyes met hers, burning her. “You’re coming home with me.”

~**~  
Joey slipped her seatbelt on as Pacey slid into the driver’s seat. He shook his head and popped the button, tugging her over next to him. He wrapped his arm around her and inhaled the scent of her hair. “You’re shy all of a sudden?”

“No, I…”

He grabbed the hand closest to him and placed it over his cock, just beginning to stir in his shorts. “Because you’re in this car for one reason and one reason only, Jo.”

She nodded. “I know.” Her hand moved slowly, nervously over him as he started the car. She could feel him harden, feel the muscles in his legs tense next to hers.

He nodded brusquely and pulled out toward the road, not sparing her another glance. Her hand moved over his erection, stroking it through the material. Memories assaulted her the entire ride. The same car, the same man, even though he was completely different. She stared at him, cataloguing every change.

His hair was the perfect length, just at his chin and not too bushy. His teeth clicked as he played with the stud in his tongue, tapping it against the enamel. She could see part of his tattoo as they passed through pools of streetlights, dark blue staining his golden skin.

“When did you get…” she faltered as he glanced at her quickly. “…the stud?”

“Right after graduation.”

“We heard that you graduated, we wondered…” She stopped completely this time, knowing just from the way his body tensed that she was on dangerous ground. “You like it?”

“The girls like it.”

She swallowed. “And the tattoo?”

“The end of the summer.” He pulled off to the side of the street and threw the car into park. “Any other questions?”

“I just…No.”

“Good.” He slipped out from under her hand and out of the car. “I’m gonna tell you a secret, okay, Jo? Just between the two of us?” She nodded, sliding out his side of the car. “I’m going to take you up there and I’m gonna fuck you breathless. I’m going to make you beg for mercy, I’m going to make you scream. I gonna do everything I ever wanted to do to you and more.” Her breathing changed as he talked, hitching with soft excitement. “But I ain’t gonna give a shit if you’re having fun. And I’m not going to care if it means something to you. And I’m sure as hell not going to listen to one, goddamned word about how we used to be. So if that’s what you’re looking for here, tonight, just walk your ass right back to the beach.”

She stared at him, her eyes conflicted. He seemed to bristle with anger, and it consumed her with desire. “I won’t say a word.”

He shook his head. “Oh yes, you will.”

~**~  
He didn’t turn on the lights as they entered. He just left her at the door and headed into the small kitchen area, opening the refrigerator and casting a pale, cold light around the room. “You want a beer?”

“No, thanks.”

“Something else?”

“No.” She swallowed as she surveyed the simple studio apartment. It was smaller than her dorm room. “Thanks.”

“Not the life of Worthington luxury you expected?”

“I didn’t expect anything, Pacey.”

He shut the fridge door and dropped the room back into darkness. “Get undressed, Potter.”

“What?”

He flicked on a lamp and looked at her. “Get undressed. Surely a college girl like yourself can divine the meaning of that particular statement?”

“But…I…”

He shook his head. “I should have known. There’s the door, Joey.” He opened his beer and took a long hit from the bottle, his eyes boring into her. “Don’t let it hit you on the way out.”

“You treat all the women you fuck this way?” She pulled off her shirt and let it drop to the floor.

“Nope. Just you. Feel special?”

She unfastened her bikini top and let it drop as well, before pushing her shorts down her long legs. “I thought I wasn’t allowed.”

He chuckled and took another drink. “You got any preferences? I figure since this is your last opportunity, I’d let you choose the first position.”

“Wow. I’m honored.” She slipped out of the bottoms of her swimsuit and struggled not to cross her arms in front of her. “But I thought this was all about you.”

He started toward her, unzipping his shorts as he walked. “Oh, it is.” He let them fall and stepped out of them, kicking his sandals off in the process. “But you’re going to have fun too, Jo. I want you to. I want you to fucking miss it when it’s gone.”

“I do miss you.”

His body was tanned all over, something she’d missed as she’d watched him earlier on the beach. “I don’t give a shit if you miss me, Jo. I want to you wake up in the middle of the night so fucking hot for my dick to be inside you, that you’re thrashing around looking for a way to get off. I want you to go through so many batteries for your fucking vibrator, that I can take stock in Duracell.” He stood in front of her and gave her a slow, sexy smile. “I’m gonna make you come so many times that even a smart, college girl like you will lose count.”

“An awful lot of talk, Pacey.”

“Dawson was the one who liked to use big words to make up for the fact that he didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about.” Pacey touched her cheek and then wrapped his hand around the curved surface. “I was more the suiting action to words type.”

He was kissing her. Her body tingled as his tongue pushed past her lips, into her mouth. He wasn’t gentle. It was rough and hard, the stud running along the surfaces as he dominated her, letting her know that he was the one in control.

It was like being ravaged; his whole being was concentrated on getting what he wanted from her. There was no tenderness in his kiss, nothing reminiscent of the man who made every effort to make her first time a good one. This was a man who kissed her like he intended to fuck her.

And she wanted it.

She sucked at his tongue, holding the stud against the roof of her mouth, worrying it with her teeth. Her hands moved over his chest, his back, his ass, pulling him closer. He wrapped one hand around her neck, refusing to let her move as the other found her waist and pressed her to his cock. It was raging, pulsing. Her nails dug into his ass and he pushed her away, both of them panting hard.

His hand reached out and grabbed her hair, pulling her back to him roughly. His other scooped her up against his chest and he carried her over to the bed. He bit her lip before he dropped her down onto the mattress, staring down as she sucked the bleeding flesh into her mouth. Despite that, she reached for him, hurt flashing in her eyes as he ignored her.

Pacey knelt at the end of the bed and spread her legs, lying between them. The pink lips of her labia were swollen, glistening with moisture. “How long’s it been, Jo?”

“Since…since we were together?”

“No,” he forced three fingers inside her, pumping them quickly. “Since you’ve been fucked.”

“A…awhile.”

“Is that why you’re so fucking wet?”

“I want…you…” She could barely speak as his thumbnail grazed over her clit, crying out as he pulled his hand away. “…please?”

He reached down beside the bed and grabbed a handful of condoms, depositing them beside her leg. Ripping one open, he slid it on his thick shaft then grabbed her hips, sliding her body up onto his thighs. “You want me?” He thrust into her, furiously, manically. “You want me buried inside you, Jo?”

She nodded wordlessly, mindlessly as he entered her. Her legs locked around his waist and she pulled herself closer, pushed him deeper. “God, yes.”

He didn’t speak, didn’t respond in any way other than to grab her hips and start thrusting, hard and fast. She clawed at his chest with sharp nails as he pumped his hips, desperate for something to show in his eyes.

“God…Pace…” She came around him, hot and thick covering his cock. He didn’t say a word, simply slipped out of her and stripped off the condom, quickly replacing it with another. He lifted one of her legs up and moved it to join the other, leaving her on her side for a moment before he moved and eased her onto her stomach. “What are you…”

“God, shut up, Joey.” He lifted her hips slightly, helping her to her knees. She pressed her lips together as he placed the tip of his cock inside her. “Can’t you just…for once…” He pushed in, stopping only when his hips met her body. She was whimpering softly. “Just shut the hell up?”

She did as he asked, afraid of angering him, afraid of making him stop. He held her hips lightly, belying the rough motion of his own hips, riding hard against her. The room was filled with her soft cries that echoed his every stroke.

Her dark hair splayed over her back and shoulders like black velvet on white silk. A thick, harsh groan escaped him and he buried himself inside her, giving in to the persistent pulsing of his cock.

Joey shuddered as she felt his body spasm behind her, letting the painful tension that locked her limbs drain from her. She collapsed onto his bed, bringing his body down hard on top of her.

Pacey lay above her for a timeless moment before pulling away and disposing of the second condom. He slid off the bed and walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbing his beer and taking a long drink from it, swishing the liquid around in his mouth before swallowing. “Thirsty?”

Joey managed to roll on her back. Staring up at the cracked ceiling, she shook her head. “No. Thanks.”

“Suit yourself.” He walked back to the bed and sat on the edge of it. Joey sat up beside him and ran the tips of three fingers over the line of his tattoo.

“What is it?”

“It’s a compass.” He shrugged, though not enough to remove her hand. “And a sun. It’s original artwork by this guy I met in Florida.”

She traced a darker line. “Where does it point to?”

“Nowhere.”

Leaning in, she traced the design with the tip of her tongue. “When you took your shirt off tonight,” she stared at the two numbers inked below the artwork. “All I could think about was this.” Her teeth scraped over the curve of his shoulder. “Well, this and how that stud feels.”

Pacey turned his head so he could see her out of the corner of his eye. “You know, I really don’t think I can emphasize enough how much I don’t give a shit about what you want.”

“If that’s true, why am I here?”

“Because it gives me great, perverse pleasure to have you beg me. I get off on the fact that the wide-eyed, innocent Joey Potter is little more than a whore in Worthington clothing.”

“I’m glad the thought of me debasing myself gives you such pleasure.” She continued touching him; he continued to let her.

“Actually, it’s more the knowledge that the prissy, pristine Josephine Potter spreads her legs for just about any cock on campus.” He reached onto his nightstand and grabbed a pack of cigarettes, removing one and lighting it.

“When you lose something important, you try and replace it with something…”

“Spare me the freshman psych bullshit.” He stubbed the cigarette out in an ashtray and lay back on the bed. “I’m not interested in your motivations. I just figured that if you’re passing it around, I might as well get my piece. See if practice has helped at all.”

He took her hand and tugged her toward him, guiding her to the head of the bed. She held onto the headboard and let him help her straddle him, her knees against his shoulders.

His tongue darted out and brushed her swollen labia. “So far? I’m not impressed.”

Joey’s response was lost as he forced a husky moan from her lips, the round ball of his stud grinding against her hard clit. “Fuck,” she breathed, her hands wrapping tightly around the bed frame.

His fingers pressed inside her, rubbing the slick walls. Joey shook above him, his skilled touch wreaking havoc on her already shattered nerves. He fucked her slowly; rough, incoherent moans tumbling from her lips. Her muscles tensed, her knees digging into his shoulders as she pushed down against him, urging his fingers and tongue deeper.

Pacey obliged her, flicking the tip of his tongue over her clit as he thrust his fingers further inside her. His voice was thick. “Come on, Joey,” he mumbled against the swollen, wet flesh, “Come for me.”

The deep rumbled danced over her skin, sending a shiver down her spine as she bathed his tongue with the warm rush of her orgasm.

He helped her onto the bed beside him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before reaching over onto the nightstand.

Joey watched the smoke curl upwards. The acrid smell seemed to thicken the air. As he exhaled, Pacey turned his gaze to her. “Curiosity satisfied?” He passed the joint and watched as she pinched it between her fingers.

“Yours?”

“Like I said, Jo, I’m not impressed with your increased sexual experience. You act like you’ve been laying trust fund fucks who don’t know much more than where to put it.”

“And you’re an expert?”

He took the glowing bud from her and took another hit. “I doubt seriously that you’ve sacrificed the precious Potter pussy to anyone other than Dawson. According to the bathroom stalls, you’ve just spent most of your freshman year on your knees.”

Pacey got off the bed and walked to the bathroom, snapping on the light. Joey flinched, but didn’t look away. Hope lifted her voice. “You’ve asked about me?”

“I couldn’t give a fuck about you.”

“Then how is it you know so much?” She stared at him, the dark, wiry hair that decorated his lower body stark against his tanned skin.

“I work in a bar, Joey. I work in a bar frequented by the guys you go down on. Guys more than happy to tell me all about you,” he turned to her, a smirk on his face. “Not that I needed telling.”

“That’s right. You know me so well.”

“I don’t know you at all.” He leaned against the doorframe.

“You know me better than anyone.”

“C’mere.” He held out his hand, his gaze cool as she joined him in the bathroom doorway. Pulling her inside, he stood her in front of him, facing the mirror. “The girl I knew wasn’t in danger of flunking out of school.” His fingertips grazed along the side of her breast. “She wasn’t spending her weekends drunk and letting every guy shove his dick down her throat.”

He ran his thumb over her nipple as his other hand rubbed her hip. “I’m still in love with you,” she whispered. “That hasn’t changed.”

Pacey reached past her and opened the medicine cabinet, grabbing another condom. He shut the door, meeting her eyes in her reflection. He put it on with a skill borne of practice and pressed the tip against her. He ran his tongue up her neck, his teeth nibbling her earlobe. “That’s the one thing you should have changed.”

One quick thrust and he was inside her again, his hands on her shoulders. He continued to hold her eyes as his hips moved, one leg between hers as he pushed up into her.

“I don’t love you,” he grunted softly, the words counterpoint to his thrusting cock. “You’ve got a hot, sweet cunt and I’ll fuck you till doomsday, Joey, but I’m never going to love you.”

His blue eyes never wavered, and she knew, couldn’t lie. “Wh…what did I do?”

Pacey’s hands moved off her shoulders, down by her waist, pinning her to the counter. His body rocked into hers, forcing her to bend forward slightly to accommodate him. “You became this, Joey.” He continued watching her, his voice flat and quiet. “You became some sort of joke. Lived down to all the expectations of the Mrs. Valentines of the world and became nothing more than a mediocre student, a lousy drunk and a cheap whore.”

Tears clouded her vision, but she didn’t look away. “That’s what you think of me?”

“That’s what you are, Joey.” He smiled slightly. “You became your own worst nightmare and you don’t even see it. You’re so busy chasing after a dick you didn’t even like that much to begin with.”

“I love you…”

“You loved having a fucking lapdog to treat you like some princess.” His voice changed, grew deeper as he grew closer, his cock measuring their argument. “You wanted someone to blame for the mistakes that happened in your life. And I got fucking sick of leaving my balls at the door.” His thrusts grew stronger and he still held her gaze in the bathroom mirror. His fingers tightened on the tile counter, knuckles white. “It wasn’t that we were moving on in different directions, Joey. It was that I was tired of being your scapegoat, your second choice, your whipping boy. I was tired of being your charity case, your psychology experiment.” His hips jerked with every word. “So I ripped you off your fucking pedestal and let you lay there broken at my feet.” He was grunting them, feeling barely human as she cried in front of him, their eyes still locked. “And you played right into it, becoming the worst thing you could.”

“I…”

“I worshiped you. And now I can barely fuck you.” He grabbed her hips and pushed her away from him, pulling his cock out of her. “You beneath contempt, Joey. I can’t feel a fucking thing for you.”

“You obviously hate me.” She was sobbing now, her hands wrapped around her chest, trying to hide something of her body, her pain.

“I don’t even care that much.” He closed his eyes and nodded toward the bedroom. “Get your stuff and get out.”

She hurried into the other room and gathered her clothes to her chest. She turned back to look at him, “If you don’t feel anything, why are you hurting me?”

“Because, Joey.” He looked at her and sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead. “Because as much as I don’t care, you shouldn’t be like this.”

“You made me like this, you fucker.” She bit the words out, her voice milky with tears.

“Did I? Did I tell you to open wider the first time you put a frat boy’s cock in your mouth? Did I hold the fucking mirror when you snorted your first hit of debutante coke? Did I…”

“You left me.” She hit out at him, her clothes falling at her feet as she punched at his arms, his chest. “You left me and I didn’t know what to do anymore. You kept me going. You kept me pointed in the right direction. You…”

“You need to stop blaming the fact that you’re a whore on everyone else and, for once in your goddamned life, own up to the fact that you fucked up.” He shoved her back, sending her tumbling onto the bed. “You’re inadequate, Joey. You’re fucked up. You’re messed up. You’re not smarter than the rest of us; you’re just as screwed in the head. You’re an emotional mess and you don’t know how to do anything for yourself without someone telling you it’s all okay.” He stood over her, his cock as stiff as the line of his back. “And I sure hope the frat boys aren’t too picky about their blowjobs, because you’re a lousy lay.”

“Fuck you,” she shoved him away from her, sending him crashing into the wall. Getting off the bed, she pulled the condom off his cock before pinning his hips with her hands. She lowered her mouth to his shaft, sucking hard at the swollen flesh. Pacey tangled his hands in her hair as she grazed the delicate skin with her teeth, tugging at the silky strands as one of her hands moved down and squeezed his balls, tightening around them.

He came explosively, pushing his cock down her throat until she started coughing and pulled away, finally releasing her hold on his balls.

“Lousy?”

“Lousy.” He was panting, hurting, a myriad of emotions finally in his eyes, though none managed to be the love she was still searching for in them. “Now go away, Joey. Please.”

She didn’t say anything as she got to her feet, putting on her clothes in the harsh silence of the room. Her body ached as she walked to the door, not looking back as it closed behind her, the hallway echoing with finality.


End file.
